Info

The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast

Many pastors and church leaders today feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated that their churches don’t seem to be making mature disciples. The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast explores the paradigms and practices leaders need to transform their church culture and multiply deeply changed disciples.
RSS Feed Subscribe in Apple Podcasts
The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast
2023
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2022
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2021
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2020
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2019
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
November
October
September
August
July
May
February
January


2015
December
October
September


All Episodes
Archives
Now displaying: Page 1
Sep 19, 2023

In over four decades of leadership, I've come to the conclusion that one of the biggest gaps in our leadership training comes down to one essential skill...

Creating safety where everyone around you feels empowered to communicate clearly and honestly.

Without this skill, church teams remain silenced - unable to speak truth and creating the conditions for an environment of frustration, resentment, and judgement.

On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the first of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people.

We'll model a powerful skill called "Community Temperature Reading" and talk about how it applies to real life leadership scenarios.

Imagine leading a church where every staff, leader, and volunteer knows how to communicate clearly. Imagine a culture, where everyone feels safe to tell the truth and has the skills needed to do so. Imagine the unity that is possible when every voice is heard.

Take a listen to today's podcast.

Sep 5, 2023
Could you forgive someone if you knew they murdered your entire family?

It sounds far-fetched. But this is the question posed in As We Forgive - a documentary about the tragedies of the 1994 Rwandan genocide and the stories of two women as they came face to face with the men who killed their families.

It provoked the question - Would I be capable of forgiving my enemies like this?

This is the center point of Jesus' most shocking, counterintuitive teaching - "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44)

In saying this, Jesus set a new benchmark for love. He turned the new world order upside down. For Christians, the key distinguishing mark of spiritual maturity is the way we love our enemies.

In today's podcast, I walk through the 3 reasons our love often stops short of this measurement, and what we can do to deepen the way we love others.

(Hint, this is all a precursor for where we'll be headed over the next several weeks of the podcast!) 
 
Aug 22, 2023
Language builds culture.

Recently on the podcast, I shared 5 timeless leadership axioms - portable and powerful phrases that have become adopted by emotionally healthy leaders all around the world.

For example..."Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones".

It's an easier (and more playful) way of getting at the truth that everyone is deeply affected by their family of origin, going back hundreds of years.

Today on the podcast, I continue this series by sharing 5 new axioms that I believe you will find helpful. These leadership sayings are extremely useful to adopt as you build a healthy team and church culture.

I pray you will memorize them, ponder them, and make space to allow the biblical truth to penetrate you.
Aug 8, 2023
Movements with longevity are sustained through shared, easily understood language.

This most often comes through the development of axioms - short, memorable phrases that capture the essence of truth in simple ways.

Reflecting on the last two decades of leading Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, I've been able to identify at least 10 core axioms (probably more like 25!) that have stood the test of time. In many ways, they are a "cliff-notes" introduction to an emotionally healthy church culture.

In today's podcast, I share the first 5 timeless axioms that have shaped the culture of what we call Emotionally Healthy Leadership. (ie. "Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones."

If you are a leader, these axioms are extremely helpful to use with your teams as simple ways to build a healthy team and church culture.

I pray you will memorize them, ponder them, and make space to allow the biblical truth to penetrate you.
 
Jul 25, 2023

According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, the fastest growing stream of the church is the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement. In terms of overall numbers, it represents 644 million Christians world wide. This is 8.3% of the world population. By 2050, it will reach over 1 billion people. Unbelievable!

We need the power of God, gifts of the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders for the global mission of the church. Much of my personal spiritual and leadership journey was formed in the charismatic movement. We regularly experienced the outpouring of God's power in our church. It was electric.

And yet I was still proud, defensive, distant, not present, unable to connect relationally, conflict avoidant, unaware internally, and unlovingThis disconnect is what led to the birth of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship.

In today's episode, I unpack 5 key contributions of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship that allow us to walk in the healthy, long-term release of God’s power. 

Jul 11, 2023

For leaders, one of the most frustrating parts of decision-making is this...

It....takes....time.

Sure, sometimes quick decisions are necessary. But most consequential decisions (that shape the future of your life, church, and ministry) require the ability to slow down and wait. Usually for longer than is comfortable for you.

In order to let your judgments (discernments) come from deep within, you cannot in any way be pressed or hurried. You must wait.

To be clear, waiting does not mean you are doing nothing.  You are doing the most important something there is. In today's podcast, I share more about what God is actually developing in you in times of waiting. Then I take time to address several questions listeners have submitted.

Jun 27, 2023

Decision-making is primarily about discernment. It's the ability to make decisions that align with God's will for your life and ministry.

The truth is - discernment is an art. It takes practice, attention, and a lifetime to develop.

But if there is one core practice that is the foundation of discernment, it is learning to pay attention to the movement of God in your own soul through consolations and desolations.

"Consolations and desolations" are terms offered by Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits over 500 years ago to describe the inner feelings that move you toward God and the ones that take you away from God.  

Leaders who are able to slow down and pay attention to the inner work of God will not only be effective, they will be able to lead from joy, rest, and freedom.

Jun 13, 2023

One of the primary tasks of spiritual leadership is the ability to make prayerful, wise decisions.

Yet many leaders find it difficult to invest the time and space necessary for sharp discernment. The result is that our decisions become dull, lacking precision and power. Over time, flippant decision-making inflicts tremendous consequences on us and those we lead.

In the first episode of this new podcast series, we discuss the importance of boundaries to keep us surrendered to God’s purposes. Why? Because any time God calls us to a specific work, the devil tempts us to live beyond our boundaries. This happens in every season of our life!

When we discern and yield to the gravity of God's purpose, life flourishes. This is the first step to becoming leaders who make sharp decisions.

May 30, 2023

Years ago, we were doing some strategic planning at the church I had founded in Queens, NY. We were reflecting on what contributed to our growth over a 26 year period.

A single word kept reappearing on the whiteboard - "BASEMENT"

How did we disciple so many quality leaders, many of whom are still leading today?

Hint: it wasn't what happened on the stage. It was what happened in the basement.

Matthew 28 tells us to "make disciples of all nations". But many leaders today feel a pressure to make their discipleship strategies big and public rather than small and hidden.

Jesus modeled a different way of making disciples. In fact, he flipped the entire thing upside down. In today's podcast, I share with you why real discipleship starts in the basement.

May 16, 2023
Eight years after planting New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, I was exhausted.

The pressure of preaching and teaching weekly messages, along with the rest of my
leadership responsibilities, left me depleted. Although our ministry was growing, I
often felt like I was gaining the world but losing my own soul.
 
What I lacked, and what so many of us still lack today, is a way to teach and preach for Jesus that properly flows out of a deep inner life with him.

What I discovered is that there is a way to engage in this weighty work of speaking for Jesus that is light and easy rather than heavy and hard, that strengthens rather than diminishes our relationship with him, and that is marked by joy and spaciousness rather than anxiety and pressure.

May 2, 2023

Affliction. It's a topic that nobody wants to talk about (including me).

But as it relates to TRUE LEADERSHIP, it is a costly mistake to avoid our afflictions. Why? Because this is how God matures us into spiritual mothers and fathers of the faith.

By "affliction," I'm referring to any kind of hurt, loss, betrayal, broken relationship, abandonment, or disorienting circumstance. While these are obviously things we don't want, they are also unavoidable.

Many of us run from our afflictions, seeing them as obstacles to our life and leadership. We distract, jump over, sidestep, and ignore. But Jesus called us to take up our cross and follow him. And when you're on the cross, you can't just jump off!

The good news is that God doesn't abandon us in our hardships. In fact – if we're willing to PAY ATTENTION, God uses our afflictions to develop us into the type of leaders worth following.

Take a listen to today's podcast episode.

Apr 18, 2023

One of the greatest threats to leading with joy is giving into the temptation of overcommitment.

When our lives are crowded, cluttered, and cramped, it is difficult to hear God and live in loving union with Him. The irony is, we can "fit in" regular practices of Sabbath and silence while still being driven by an overscheduled life.

But how do we resist this temptation?

Silence, solitude, and sabbath must become our practices.
AND spaciousness must become our mindset.

In order to live spacious lives, we must avoid the critical traps that keep us settling for an overcommitted life.

  • What would it feel like to live with breathing room?
  • How would it feel to limit your "Yes" and claim more margin in your schedule?
  • What if you could build in time for extended thinking, praying, and being?


On today's podcast, I identify several traps that keep you from the gift of spaciousness and offer wisdom that will help you live with a renewed sense of joy.

Apr 4, 2023

Many leaders today "know" the importance of a slowed-down spirituality.

So why do so many continue to feel overloaded and over scheduled, often working 3 jobs, taking on new side hustles, and remain driven by the fear of missing out? Why can't we stop overcommitting?

Listen, I know this struggle firsthand. And I've found that it goes deeper than knowing intellectually and theologically the right thing to do.

On today's podcast, I tackle this question head-on in two parts:
  1. How do you break free from the roots of overcommitment inside yourself?
  2. How do you help others break free from overcommitment as you lead them?
This is an important one. I pray that as you listen, you begin to experience a newfound freedom in Christ.
Mar 21, 2023

Recently we crossed an unbelievable threshold with the Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast with over 10 million lifetime podcast downloads. I couldn't be more surprised, humbled, and thankful for this milestone moment. 

I say "surprised" because back in 1996, when we first started, the term "emotional health" was considered heretical in much of the church!

Now 25 years later, we can see that the cultural landscape has changed dramatically. Not only is emotional health received, but in many ways, it is now considered a promotional buzzword.

In today's podcast, I share my observations of what I consider 3 counterfeit versions of emotional health that we settle for, but then cast a vision for an authentic life with God.

Mar 7, 2023

I was recently asked by someone...

"Pete, if you could go back and give yourself advice in the different seasons of life and ministry, what would you say?"

The truth is – every decade has its own unique invitations. As I reflected, I realized that I would say something slightly different to myself at 25, 35, 45, and even 55.

Today on the podcast, I share with you some fresh insights as I look back on my own journey and development. While my journey is different than yours, I'm hoping you'll be able to learn from my lessons - both the good and the bad!

Feb 21, 2023
Many of us have come to believe that the Christian life is synonymous with constant happiness. We think we're on the right track if the trajectory of our lives is "up and to the right" - always improving, always leveling up.

But this way of thinking leaves little room for grief and sadness. When we experience real loss, we see it as an abnormal alien invasion, not as a divine invitation.

And yet, Jesus shows us that to welcome and hold sorrow before God is central to our leadership and discipleship.

In today's podcast episode, I share the importance of finding the treasure buried in grief and loss, and how we can train other leaders to do the same.

I encourage you to watch our full training video online in our Leader's Training Vault. It's completely free and only takes one minute to register.

For now, you can listen to today's episode here...
Feb 7, 2023

I was 19 when I came to Christ and started my training as a Christian leader.

As a young leader, I was taught many valuable things. But nobody told me about the most powerful gift leaders can bring to those they lead.

But I've learned (through my own failures) that the greatest gift leaders can actually give is becoming an "incarnational presence" – being DEEPLY PRESENT with people like Jesus.

In today's podcast episode, we look at the norm for most churches and leaders, but then we'll explore the beauty of what can happen in our church cultures when we learn to lead in this way.

I encourage you to watch our full training video online in our Leader's Training Vault. It's completely free and only takes one minute to register.

For now, you can listen to today's episode here...

Jan 24, 2023

As a pastor or leader, your primary role is to develop and disciple others.

More than simply "getting things done", we are called to prioritize the growth and maturity of the people and leaders around us. We do this by learning particular skills and tools with which we can coach our leaders, our team, and those in our ministry. 
 
One game-changing tool that I use to coach others is called the “Genogram”.

The genogram is a powerful visual map to document the history and dynamics of our family relationships and their impact on us, over three to four generations.
 
In today's episode, I share the 6 stages I use to coach other leaders through the Genogram so that you can do the same.
Jan 10, 2023

Not long ago I was spending time with some young pastors, hoping to learn how leaders today define ministry success. The word "influence" seemed to be a common theme.

Many leaders obsess over growing their followers, gaining digital credibility, and creating captivating sound bites for social media. While there is nothing wrong with having a following, there exists a pressure and allure to making that the primary scorecard for ministry impact. This way of thinking only leads to destruction.

In many ways, this is nothing new. The 3 deadly temptations that Jesus faced in the desert, are the exact temptations we face as leaders, no matter what generation you are from.

Dec 22, 2022
Does the end of the year feel like a complete whirlwind?

For most pastors and leaders Christmas activities dominate the month of December and then we only get a week's break before launching into a new year!

In January, pastors face the difficult task of vision-casting, goal-setting, and steering the direction of the church for the next 12 months.

Too often, our planning is driven by:
  • Expectations from others (i.e. board, supervisors, people we serve)
  • Internal pressure to be a great leader or to create momentum.
  • The “shoulds" of everything that feels important. (i.e. “We should be doing more of this...")
All of these things can feel like a tremendous weight, under which many pastors buckle over time.

But planning doesn't have to feel this way.

In today's episode, I want to show you a radical new approach to planning. I'll show you how I plan for the season ahead in a way that produces joy, not anxiety.
Dec 12, 2022
Great leadership is about knowing who you are and who you are not.
In part one of this podcast series, I shared the first 5 marks of a highly-differentiated leader.
On today's podcast, I continue by sharing 5 more attributes that deserve careful consideration.

Why? Because the cost of lowly-differentiated leadership is enormous:
  • We diminish the long-term impact of our ministries.
  • We allow the wrong people exercise power and leadership. 
  • We perpetuate immaturity. 
  • We grow resentful and live in dis-ease. 
  • We waste the time, energy, and money of God’s people.
  • We increase anxiety in everyone around us.
  • We, and our community, become less playful (and more “intense/heavy.”)
The good news is that godly, highly-differentiated leadership is the pathway to freedom, a lighter yoke, less worry, better relationships, clearer goals, and more joy!
Nov 29, 2022
Everything rises and falls on the character and inner life of the leader.

The apostle Paul seemed to believe so as well. He writes to his spiritual son Timothy that whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.” (1 Tim. 3:1)
 
I believe the great need of our day is for us to become godly, highly-differentiated leaders while developing other leaders in the same way.

In today's episode, I share five marks of a highly-differentiated leader and how to start becoming one today. Truth be told - it's hard work. But MUCH harder should you avoid the work.

Highly-differentiated leadership is the pathway to freedom, a lighter yoke, less worry, better relationships, clearer goals, and more joy!
Nov 15, 2022

Every day, people all around us live in a chronic state of dread, anxious about what tomorrow will bring.

Nations and economies are crumbling. News media agitates our deepest fears. It often feels like the ground is shaking beneath our feet.

In a time like this, it is critical that we continue to LIVE and LEAD out of deep rest in Christ.

But how do we break free from the gravitational pull of bad news and despair?

I believe we must recalibrate a biblical vision of HOPE. (Hint: it's more than optimism)
 

Let's be clear – this doesn't happen easily. We must contend for God's vision of reality and vigilantly pursue deep rest in Christ.

In today's podcast episode, I share keys to cultivating hope and deep rest.

Nov 1, 2022

Hiring new staff (paid or volunteer) is one of the most difficult responsibilities of church leadership.  The difference between the right hire and the wrong hire will have long-term consequences in your church.

Two weeks ago on the podcast, I brought the first part of "Emotionally Healthy Hiring (Paid or Volunteer)", in which we covered the first 7 principles that leaders must consider before making a hire.

Today, I bring the second part, offering the next 6 out of 13 principles for emotionally healthy hiring. (It's shocking to hear how often principle #11 is overlooked when hiring staff!)

Oct 18, 2022

Churches around the world are rebuilding in a post-pandemic world. Leaders are assembling new teams and desperately trying to fill vacant positions.

The temptation to cut corners in your hiring process (paid or volunteer) is ENORMOUS. When you feel the pressure to onboard a new worship leader or children's pastor in order to keep "the wheels on the bus", it's easy to make poor hiring decisions.

In today's podcast, I share 7 out of 13 principles that MUST be considered before your next hire. On the following podcast, I'll release part two of this series with the remaining principles. 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next » 13